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"My name is Nicki Cruz."
I was born into a family bound by witchcraft. My father was a satanic priest, my mother was a witch. My parents were deeply immersed in shamanism and black magic.
When I was born, I was raised and dedicated to Satan, my head was anointed with blood. I inherited my father's mantle, so it became a curse on my life.
When I was a child, I never got a single kiss from my mother, nor did I kiss her. I felt like i died when I was eight years old when i heard my mother say she didn't love me..
I felt no affection and I got brutally beat up multiple times until I was eight.
Many times i lay unconscious in a pool of blood.
At the age of 4 I wanted to kill myself
You know when your mom calls you "freak", "bastard" it really hurts.
I eventually realized she didn't love me and I hated her because of it…that I screamed with a broken heart that I would rather be called a "nothing" than to be called her son.
The last time she slapped me I was 8 years old, I swore I would never love anyone and cry again in my life.
At the age of fifteen I ended up in New York in the Mau Mau gang named after a blood thirsty African tribe.
The gang became my "family" that I never had.
A family of hooligans who draw their strength from each other and look out for each other.
New York is a city where you have to have eyes in your neck. It was all about survival. You had to abide by the laws of the jungle. And the beast doesn't know the difference between good and evil. The beast must be killed to survive.
I could always remember my mother's voice grabbing my hair and smashing my head against the wall so blood would flow.
I tried to look into her eyes like fireballs to see something human but all I saw was coldness and hate. And I heard "You're not my son, I don't love you! Get out of my life, I don't want to see you! "
Being in that gang I knew I was gonna die young, but in my life I was already dead. I died when I was eight years old when my mother said she didn't love me.
At 16, I led that gang myself in New York.
I fell into the depths of hell, thought about suicide many times.
When the police arrested me, I was isolated from all the other prisoners because I was dangerous.
The court ordered me to see a psychiatrist. Finally I met Dr. Goodman He took me to one of the worst hospitals ever a very famous hospital for crazy people. Then he took me to another psychiatric clinic in Manhattan.
Six months later, when we were walking with him on the street, he directly told me, "You're just cold! I tried to infiltrate you, punch you in the chest to get some kind of emotional response. But you're completely lifeless, you're very dangerous!”
And he said “there ain’t nothing I can do for you Nicki! You go straight to jail to the electric chair. F## you! And there is no hope for you. You are dead!”
But by the grace of God these words did not come to pass!
God became my last hope and in my misery He found me. I never thought about God in my childhood until suddenly this man, Pastor Wilkerson, fell down from heaven into our neighborhood.
The police warned him: "They are going to kill you." This jungle, this a battlefield "All we gotta do is come get your body. "
Wilkerson answered them with great conviction: "God will be with me!"
The police said, "We hope he's going with you because we're not going!"
This man was used by God. When I showed no interest in anyone, God showed interest. He put great love in this man's heart and brought him to New York's biggest city with a message of hope.
Just two weeks before this, my psychiatrist said: “Nicky, you’re stepping on the electric chair and you’re going to hell! "
But Wilkerson said “no he’s not!”
It's heaven, it's God. It's Jesus Christ who died for your sins, who gave his life for you, just like you're willing to give your life for your friends, gang members, boyfriends and girlfriends.
There is a God who is truly the living God His name we remember. But when one of you dies - no one remembers you, you're not there anymore. But Jesus is always there. He is not dying ! "
And this is the most important news David Wilkerson has ever given me.
And I approached him and started hitting him.
I would not let him go. He couldn't get rid of me that easy.
I cursed him, his God and everything in this world.
Like a wild animal, I jumped on him, grabbed his hair and began banging his head against the wall. Just like my mother did to me.
But this guy, ignoring the pain and blood, said in the middle of the street, in the presence of three hundred witnesses, "Nicky, I'm not scared."
“I came here to give you the news from heaven. I came to tell you Nikki Jesus loves you! "
And when he told me that, I withdrew."
I've got my eyes on him. And he said, "If you want, you can kill me." And I know you can. But even if you kill me and cut me into a thousand pieces and scatter them across the street, remember: every piece will scream to you: Nicki, Jesus loves you! "
This hit me hard. It felt like a stroke in the heart.
Two weeks later I went to listen to this man.
I didn't go alone, I brought 70 guys as security to listen to this skinny guy.
To my great surprise, two thousand people were already there. Twelve gangs. We came prepared. I came in with a loaded 22 caliber pistol.
And that night for seven minutes, even though I was so restless, high off drugs, seven minutes later something happened to me that night.
Wilkerson told why Jesus came to earth. What really moved me was the crucifixion of Jesus Christ.
The first few minutes seemed boring to me.
But then I saw Jesus Christ crucified before my eyes, so alive that I thought I was there, and saw Him die.
And this has touched me deeply.
I was struck by the perseverance of Jesus. Loyalty to friendship. He, Jesus, friend, the best friend you could ever have.
He is not a lying politician who promises a lot and fails to deliver. He promises you eternal life. He promised to die for you - and He fulfilled it. And I admire a Jesus like that.
It was the first time in my life I felt respect for someone. And this honor brought me to kneel before my saviour Jesus Christ.
Glory be to Jesus! "
Today, Nicky Cruz travels the world, ministering and preaching the gospel.
The former callous "beast" teaches people about forgiveness and love.
He is the founder of the "Ministry of Nicki Cruz" which helps young people leave a life of crime and turn to Christ and serve Him.
Pastor Cruz is also the author of many books, including a bestseller, "Run, Baby Run."-Randys777's post on X-platform (2024).
Derinco & Associates: Business Consultants and General Merchants
Derinco & Associates: Business Consultants and General Merchants
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